From time to time throughout the years I would make a decision to get physically fit. Wait! Don’t laugh yet! I know you can look at me and tell I never followed through on that decision, but I had good intentions, (you know what that gets you).
Probably the most fit I have ever been was Aug. 9, 1941 (the day I was born), ha, ha.
Actually I have acted on my fitness decision many times. Starting about 1980 I began walking faithfully every day. I walked about two miles every day and then would ride my stationary bike about 10 miles every night. Why is it that once you get into a good routine it is fairly easy to keep it up, but once you slack off, you soon just quit altogether. Anyway, that’s what I did.
But through the years I have gotten back on track with a routine that might last about a year, and I fall off the track again.
I have had several different pieces of exercise equipment, but never used them. Don’t laugh–a lot of you have old exercise equipment stored somewhere yourselves. However, I now have a treadmill, one of about three that I have owned I think. When I got this one I swore to myself I would use it faithfully. I was faithful the few times I used it, but now it is just another dust collector. However, I have intentions of dusting it off and using it–I just haven’t worked it into my schedule yet.
Well, you know how that goes. But I fixed that situation–that treadmill doesn’t get lonely now since I bought an ab lounger. One day I was watching an exercise equipment sales pitch on one of the shopping channels and decided I could use one of those to work on my six-pack because it is quickly becoming a 12-pack.
Recently I have seen a piece of equipment I have debated whether to get or not–it’s one of those contraptions that you strap your feet in and turn yourself upside down. One thing that keeps me from ordering this thing is that I’m afraid I would get myself turned upside down and couldn’t get back up. That would be a horrific sight so see all that loose flesh bagging in the opposite direction. My belly would hang so loose upside down that you wouldn’t be able to see my face. I have a hard enough time functioning right side up, I sure don’t want to get stuck upside down. I can just see me now–hanging upside down, all the blood rushing to my head and yelling for someone to come and set me upright.
However, I do see an advantage to that thing. I know that gravity pulls on our bodies and causes them to sag and makes our face and chin–well, let’s just say they don’t look like they did years ago. I wish I had known this years ago, I would have started hanging myself upside down, or maybe even sleeping with my head hanging off the bed to keep gravity from pulling it all south.
Since I didn’t have the foresight to make gravity work for me instead of against me, I may have to resort to other measures to keep my chin off my lap. Some people get a face lift, that’s not for me–one reason is that it is too expensive. So, I have another idea–I’ll just buy a lot of cellophane tape and start taping up my eyebrows, and other sagging places. On second thought, I don’t think cellophane tape will help most places, so I guess I had better opt for duct tape–BIG WIDE duct tape.