By Karen Steinhauser
I love fairy tales! I guess my longing for spring caused me toremember this story, based on an incident that happened at our home a couple of years ago. Many of my friends have heard this story, but I decided to share it with the world. I suppose my column doesn’t have great insight this week. You may think it never has great insight, for that matter. However, I am determined in to take whatever comes my way in life and try to see the humor in it. This was a stretch, seeing how I so detest snakes. There’s a reason the Bible tells us “a merry heart does good like a medicine.” Read and be merry.
Once upon a time there were three people who lived in a big white castle. There was King Richard and Queen Karen. There was also Jason, The Wild Beast, who lived in the basement of the castle. Jason, The Wild Beast, got his title from King Richard who had affectionately added The Wild Beast to his name, because he had such a ferocious appetite. One day Queen Karen and Jason, The Wild Beast, had gone for a ride. Upon returning to the royal castle, Queen Karen heard Jason, The Wild Beast, let out a yell, that let her know the castle was possibly being invaded.
Queen Karen hurriedly went to the basement to learn the nature of the disturbance. When she arrived she was shocked and horrified that the castle was under siege by a GIANT SNAKE. Jason, The Wild Beast, drew out his (rather dull) sword and proceeded to try and kill the GIANT SNAKE. The GIANT SNAKE began to strike at him, at least nine to ten times. Queen Karen suggested they use their firearm to terminate the GIANT SNAKE. Jason, The Wild Beast, decided King Richard might be rather displeased if they blew a hole in the floor. Suddenly, Queen Karen had a most brilliant idea. She ran to the royal shed and got a grounds keeping garden hoe. When she came back in she discovered the GIANT SNAKE had wrapped himself around the rung of a royal stool. Jason, The Wild Beast, began to war with the GIANT SNAKE. He hit and he hit and he hit, while Queen Karen prayed prayers she didn’t even know she knew.
Queen Karen prayed with such fervor and volume she was heard throughout the land. Suddenly Jason, The Wild Beast, was able to hold at bay the GIANT SNAKE while he asked Queen Karen to give him his razor sharp knife! She was extremely brave and got closer to the GIANT SNAKE than she ever thought she could or would! Jason, The Wild Beast, cut the GIANT SNAKE’S head off! Jason, The Wild Beast, had his name changed from that day forward and he became Jason, Slayer of Serpents. Queen Karen called for a messenger to notify King Richard that he would need to immediately seal up the castle or The Queen would no longer be able to reside there. Because King Richard had such a DEEP PASSIONATE love for The Queen, he sealed up the castle so tight (by faith) that not even an ant could squeeze its way in and they all lived happily ever after.
P.S. This story has only been a teeny tiny, itsy bit exaggerated!